"You Can't See Me"

Oh yes, we can.

There's a giant food court in Westlake Center in Seattle, and from the inside it feels like the most private areas are far off against the north walls, which happen to be floor to ceiling windows. This area, from inside the food court, is removed from all the seating areas, and gives the illusion of being "in a corner" and private.

However: My office has a full bank of windows that look right on to those windows, and it's been a mini-Fellini movie (thanks, James!) watching what people do, right in front of those windows when they think nobody can see.

Here is what I have just happened upon, just by happenstance:

• A girl pulling up her thong out of her pants, and snipping each side, so she could pull it out without taking off her pants.
• A well-dressed lady plucking chin hairs with a gold compact and tweezers (there's a ladies' room about 30 feet away from these windows...but maybe the light's better here?)
• Two girls and a guy having a mostly clothed three-way PDA that went on and on and started to get ratings from my office staff
• Two men, maybe in their 40s, looking guilty and surreptitious, and I was afraid something *really* gnarly was about to happen...but instead, each removed his own toupee, and handed it to the other, who affixed it to his own head. No mirrors. (Personally, I thought the original looks were better for each of them.)
• Several people who wanted to copy SpiderMan, maybe? Who stepped up onto the windowsill and just pressed their entire bodies against the glass and spread out their arms and legs, as though to get as much maximum contact between body and glass as possible.
• A woman in a business suit who proceeded to change into her gym outfit, piece by piece.
• Three drug deals, and four people chopping up powdery white substances and snorting lines off whatever was handy, in one case a Time magazine.

Ann Landers used to advise apartment dwellers not to run around naked near their windows because "if you can see them, they can see you." But this is a whole different window on the world--and maybe worth setting up a timed camera with two or three shots a day. And all the faces pixilated, of course.

A Toast to Gratitude

Every summer I celebrate--my birthday in June, and my "birthday" in August. I stopped drinking in August 1982 and every single day I'm grateful for that--and every year under my belt feels like another plank in the beautiful deck I've been trying to build of my life.

Recently I visited some dear old friends and relatives I haven't seen in forever, and was awash in the gratitude all over again. First, one of my very favorite relatives (and I have a lot of them) shared that she's been sober for as long as I have--a fact that had somehow escaped me earlier. Well, nothing will bond two ex drinkers like knowing, suddenly, they're sober partners in crime. Did I mention I love this woman to pieces? We shared some war stories and lots of happy ones. She gave me the biggest compliment: "You still have that alcoholic sense of humor, though!"

I also heard about another friend, who's struggling. I don't want to say much more about it, but his story hit close to home--and I was grateful all over again that in my life, with its jillions of ups and downs, had never quite hit that point. He and his family will be in my prayers.

People ask if I ever miss drinking and the honest answer really is no. Sometimes I miss the ritual--and I used to miss the taste of champagne. Some people ask if I've ever been tempted-- and in almost 28 years I can honestly say no...except for one time: right after the Northridge earthquake, when I was living in Santa Monica and thought we were being bombed. It rearranged my molecules and I seriously was white knuckling it, and truly had to cut things down to one day, one hour at a time.

But that feeling passed after a couple of weeks and looking back, I realized I really never intended to take a drink--I just *thought* about it a lot. (I also couldn't bear to go back to Day One, either, which I realize is lame, but my feeling is, anything that keeps you on the right path is a good thing.)

So I'd like to raise a glass of San Pellegrino, no ice, lime or lemon, in honor of dealing with the hand of cards you're dealt. And I am happy every single day that of all my demons, demon alcohol isn't one.

The Wisdom of Sages

This really happened to me. I was traveling for days, weeks, years, seeking a guru who would tell me the secret of life. I traveled over deserts, through blinding snowstorms, over rock outcroppings and sunny meadows.

I finally arrived at the mountain top where the wise woman lived. She turned to me, looked me directly in the eye and said: "Never throw pigs before swine."

How's that for a pearl of wisdom?

Surely, the Truth

It's a little after May Day 2010. As PortableStormCloud comes closer to its birth, I'm warming up my engines for my blog, Surely, which will surely be a component of PSC.com.

My promise to you: I will try hard not to waste your time or mine, and be judicious, and brief, in what I share. I welcome suggestions and even a peanut gallery, so fire away.

Cheers, and looking forward to sharing more very soon. Tomorrow, the gala affair at the Four Seasons!