"You Can't See Me"

Oh yes, we can.

There's a giant food court in Westlake Center in Seattle, and from the inside it feels like the most private areas are far off against the north walls, which happen to be floor to ceiling windows. This area, from inside the food court, is removed from all the seating areas, and gives the illusion of being "in a corner" and private.

However: My office has a full bank of windows that look right on to those windows, and it's been a mini-Fellini movie (thanks, James!) watching what people do, right in front of those windows when they think nobody can see.

Here is what I have just happened upon, just by happenstance:

• A girl pulling up her thong out of her pants, and snipping each side, so she could pull it out without taking off her pants.
• A well-dressed lady plucking chin hairs with a gold compact and tweezers (there's a ladies' room about 30 feet away from these windows...but maybe the light's better here?)
• Two girls and a guy having a mostly clothed three-way PDA that went on and on and started to get ratings from my office staff
• Two men, maybe in their 40s, looking guilty and surreptitious, and I was afraid something *really* gnarly was about to happen...but instead, each removed his own toupee, and handed it to the other, who affixed it to his own head. No mirrors. (Personally, I thought the original looks were better for each of them.)
• Several people who wanted to copy SpiderMan, maybe? Who stepped up onto the windowsill and just pressed their entire bodies against the glass and spread out their arms and legs, as though to get as much maximum contact between body and glass as possible.
• A woman in a business suit who proceeded to change into her gym outfit, piece by piece.
• Three drug deals, and four people chopping up powdery white substances and snorting lines off whatever was handy, in one case a Time magazine.

Ann Landers used to advise apartment dwellers not to run around naked near their windows because "if you can see them, they can see you." But this is a whole different window on the world--and maybe worth setting up a timed camera with two or three shots a day. And all the faces pixilated, of course.